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Was it worth it, L.? It took several years to build my trust in you, only to see it destroyed in the blink of an eye through deception and lies. Were the choices you made in recent weeks/months worth it in the end? It seems you waited until the damage was done to express concerns about our relationship ("what do we have in common?" / "our relationship sucks") - or maybe it was a way to justify your choices. I don't know. It was painful to discover that your mind and body had moved on from me and our relationship. The more you lied, the more obvious it became that you had things to hide. Still, you couldn't the honest with me - even after breaking up. Like usual, you kept everything close to your chest. Remember when I'd ask questions about us? "Do we have enough conversation? Is there anything we can improve? Etc." You never gave me any indication that something was amiss. Sure, I knew there was xxx thing you didn't like, and I ended that. Or maybe it was too late and it didn't matter. Again, I don't know. I know we had some challenges with court, your job and other things, but was it worth going outside the relationship to discover what you needed, were missing or desired? Why didn't you speak up before going through with the things you did? You may think I crossed the line in reading your texts, but it pales in comparison to breaking the trust of our relationship and engaging in emotional/physical infidelity. You were dropping signs everywhere that you were caught up in something. Your denial, single horny women Beloit behavior and lies all but sealed this painful confirmation. Rather than work with me and openly communicate, you decided it was easier to remain silent about things and go about doing what you wanted, need a Cornhill-on-Tweed blo go i host local dating in Ma Ta Xach even if it meant destroying my trust in you in the end. Was it worth it? I didn't worship you, but I did love you. I am imperfect, but I always wanted the best for us. I thought I had a woman who at a minimum respected and loved me. I never thought you were even capable of deceiving me at every turn to cover up your secrets. It makes me wonder if you've done this before, and if not, why now? I don't think I was so horrible of a person that would drive you to do what you did - and we know exactly what I'm talking about - all the things you couldn't be honest about. I still wish this was all a nightmare I could wake from. I wish my life was still in tact with the woman I loved. Maybe I was oblivious to things. Maybe I missed the signs over time. Maybe I royally screwed up, pushing you further away. But how is xxx to improve if their partner doesn't communicate their feelings? How does xxx become a better mate if they're left in the dark about how their significant other is truly feeling? Why didn't you stop yourself before sleeping with someone else while with me? How did you justify this as being a good thing? You were someone who gave me hope. You gave me strength when I was weak. Your love for me was like a bright light. I felt confident that while other relationships were crumbling around us, we had something that was stronger. The last xxx weeks have been hell for me. I thought I'd take this far better, but I was wrong. The reality that we're no more is a heavy burden. You can't make someone love you when it's no longer there. My anger in the end didn't make matters better. I was devastated, confused and beyond broken. I hate this had to happen to us. I wish we could have worked things out before you strayed emotionally and physiy. I wish you had allowed me to leave before entering this dark phase of your life. Regardless of my mistakes and flaws, I thought you were happy with me. In the end, maybe not. I'll always wonder what happened to the "good woman" you described yourself as in the first email you sent in x . What happened to her? Where did she go? When you started telling me that you lost your identity, wasn't sure of what you wanted out of life, and so on, I knew then that something bigger was brewing - whether I was the cause or not. And when you told me you didn't like the person you are now and that you've done a lot of things, my heart sank. I am not blameless, but you had a choice before going through with your infidelity. You chose not to apply the brakes and I lost you for good. In the end, I felt abandoned and unloved. There was a better way to end our relationship if it's what you desired. All the pain and lies could have been avoided. And I never would have gone looking for the truth. It's incredibly painful waking up alone without you and the life I thought we had. I wish we were still rocking. Forever was a dream. The end is the reality.
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